Tuesday, August 07, 2007
WHAT IS THE POINT OF COUNTING DOWN WHEN I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO GET IT ANY TIME SOON ANYWAY?????!
I AM SO UPSET OVER MY STUPID ORAL. I just feel like bursting into tears now, bloody shit.
AND THERE IS NO FUCKING NEED TO RE-EMPHASIZE THE MOST STUPID THING I DID DURING PICTURE DISCUSSION, CAUSE I THOUGHT MY DISTRAUGHT HAIR AND FACE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU ENOUGH, BUT YUP, RUBBING IT IN WAS SO FUN.
AND I HAVE LET MYSELF HOPE FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE, WHICH IS A SINGLE DIGIT FOR L1R5, BUT FAT HOPE. IF I CONTINUE I'LL JUST END UP SO DISAPPOINTED, BELIEVE ME, I HAVE DONE THAT ABOUT A MILLION TIMES FOR ALMOST EVERY TEST.
I should have listened to Siew siew in the first place. Because, what's the point in slogging so hard for 9 subjects and getting AVERAGE results, as compared to slogging hard for 6/7 subjects and get 6 points? Especially when there was no capability in the first place, and I really think I was/am decieveing myself when I think that I belong in 4L, because, quite obviously, I can't keep up and if I were in a lousier class, I might just be able to do better, when compared to my classmates, and not feeling so stupidly disappointed everytime. And you know what I want to drop? MATHS. I like the subject, but too bad, because of external factors. I don't like Physics, but at least I'm making an effort and I won't say I want to drop it. For Maths, even though the effort's there, its not enough, because I am stupid enough to cancel out all the effort with careless mistakes.
And NOBODY would say I don't have enough sleep, please, I sleep at 10-11, rarely passing 12. And even if its past 12, I wouldn't have been studying. So ha. So, as usual, I'm the one exception in 4L who doesn't spend sufficient time mugging and who drags down the MSG. I'm really sorry for that, because if I wasn't in 4L in the first place, there wouldn't be these problems and I wouldn't be on the edge of a nervous breakdown/crying fit/stressed demeanour.
And I have a limited supply of clothes, I want to eat but I'm afraid of having weight issues and not getting Eclipse on the anticipated day, and Borders not answering their phone, doesn't help. And I'm not getting any response from God or anybody about what to do. I am really at a loss at how to continue and if this is the right path laid out for me by God. And I should just remove my tagboard permantly because it is just a white elephant.
The tears are flowing.
ƒrom Alice • 19:30
I AM SO UPSET OVER MY STUPID ORAL. I just feel like bursting into tears now, bloody shit.
AND THERE IS NO FUCKING NEED TO RE-EMPHASIZE THE MOST STUPID THING I DID DURING PICTURE DISCUSSION, CAUSE I THOUGHT MY DISTRAUGHT HAIR AND FACE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU ENOUGH, BUT YUP, RUBBING IT IN WAS SO FUN.
AND I HAVE LET MYSELF HOPE FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE, WHICH IS A SINGLE DIGIT FOR L1R5, BUT FAT HOPE. IF I CONTINUE I'LL JUST END UP SO DISAPPOINTED, BELIEVE ME, I HAVE DONE THAT ABOUT A MILLION TIMES FOR ALMOST EVERY TEST.
I should have listened to Siew siew in the first place. Because, what's the point in slogging so hard for 9 subjects and getting AVERAGE results, as compared to slogging hard for 6/7 subjects and get 6 points? Especially when there was no capability in the first place, and I really think I was/am decieveing myself when I think that I belong in 4L, because, quite obviously, I can't keep up and if I were in a lousier class, I might just be able to do better, when compared to my classmates, and not feeling so stupidly disappointed everytime. And you know what I want to drop? MATHS. I like the subject, but too bad, because of external factors. I don't like Physics, but at least I'm making an effort and I won't say I want to drop it. For Maths, even though the effort's there, its not enough, because I am stupid enough to cancel out all the effort with careless mistakes.
And NOBODY would say I don't have enough sleep, please, I sleep at 10-11, rarely passing 12. And even if its past 12, I wouldn't have been studying. So ha. So, as usual, I'm the one exception in 4L who doesn't spend sufficient time mugging and who drags down the MSG. I'm really sorry for that, because if I wasn't in 4L in the first place, there wouldn't be these problems and I wouldn't be on the edge of a nervous breakdown/crying fit/stressed demeanour.
And I have a limited supply of clothes, I want to eat but I'm afraid of having weight issues and not getting Eclipse on the anticipated day, and Borders not answering their phone, doesn't help. And I'm not getting any response from God or anybody about what to do. I am really at a loss at how to continue and if this is the right path laid out for me by God. And I should just remove my tagboard permantly because it is just a white elephant.
The tears are flowing.
